snowmiserr:

one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me. 
and it is Akon.  So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon” 
he said you too and floated on.  

(Source: americanhustler, via fatlardz)

sherlockedbyphaninthetardis:

davedirk:

davedirk:

lauraforgood:

m33wlin:

WE WERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE IN GYM AND THE MAIN CHARACTER WAS LIKE “I’M TIRED AND HUNGRY AND HORNY” AND ME AT THIS OTHER CUTE GUY IN THE BACK JUST BOTH GO “SAME” AND LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND I WINKED AND EVERYONE WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE BUT I WAS LAUGHING REALLY HARD AND THIS IS WHY I DONT HAVE FRIENDS

can we have a tumblr marriage for you guys?

seems legit

woops

IM ACTUALLY CRYING 

(via fatlardz)

marielikestodraw:

pahnem:

mercuriesrising:

aparticularlygoodfinder:

Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”

When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”

And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard

you tip them right over the edge of a bridge

you fucking didn’t

oh my god.

(Source: villainyandgoodcheekbones, via fatlardz)

ohdarlingyoullbeokay:

yaHOO SAID ONE OF THEIR FIRST GOALS IS TO FILTER THE SITE SO ITS KID FRIENDLY OMFG BUT THE ENTIRE POINT OF TUMBLR IS FOR PERVERTED SEXUALLY FRUSTRATED BAND OBSESSED ANNOYING BLOGGERS TO UNITE AND MAKE FUN OF BITCHES THEY AVOID ON FACEBOOK THIS SITEW AS NEVER FOR FUCKING CHILDREN JESUS SHIT I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY EVERY ONCE AND  WHILE AND CANT WITH ANYMORE ON THSI GOD FORSAKEN ROCK WE CALL EARTH

(via fatlardz)